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Sep 2016

Potter Heigham Sign

Not having been here before, you might accidentally find yourself in what's now known to be described as the ugliest village in the Norfolk Broads.

Those are someone else's words so you'd better pull over into the big car park and pop in for a pry. The investigation should take no more than an hour but, get this, it looks like a team have beaten this pair to it.

That ugly claim can immediately be thrown out of court and the attractive, 14th-century bridge has something of a reputation, navigation-wise. It marks a bit of a boundary and prevents your larger cruisers from entering the eastern-most Broads at Hickling and Horsey.

That includes the traditional, Norfolk  wherry, available by the day with their funny-shaped sail. You could just about get a tin bath under the bridge meaning the lads from  Last of the Summer Wine would be alright.

This being Norfolk, though, there's no hill on the other side to go down it in.

It's not so much High-ham more Hey-hum since, beyond the sailing, there's not an awful lot here.

If you're not sailing, Lathams is the biggest  discount superstore on the Broads. It's mostly homeware with a nod to the garden and, a fine line in fishing tackle aside, it couldn't be any more out of place if it sold skiing equipment.

If you are sailing, it's likely you'll be hiring from  Herbert Woods whose buildings dominate the waterfront. They've over 120 cruisers to choose from and they can even sort you out with a  holiday cottage.

It's a sizeable operation and they've an online  promotional video to help you decide which one to rev with your top off and your tattooed torso on show. Idiots.

There used to be a pub here but the Broadshaven sits wastefully boarded up today although it looks to have since reopened. Locals claim that the previous owners 'did a runner' and a team of investigators were called in.

They split up with the hungrier of the two groups exploring the boatyard at midnight where they were chased by a ghostly wherryman down an unfeasibly long corridor[1]. Of the other group, the fit one was kidnapped before the smart but frumpy one figured that weren't no phantom, unmasking the Broadshaven's owner.

Only by scaring away his rivals' customers, forcing them out of business, could he then re-open with his takings intact. Whatever, the locals claim he did get away with it and no amount of pesky, meddling kids could do anything about it.

[1] All of the potted plants were supplied by the garden section of Latham's.

  BridgeStones of Potter (Bridge Road)

Restaurant-come-café-come-tea-room-come-bar with seats outside and is what did for the Broadshaven, probably.