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Sep 2016

Norfolk Coat of Arms

Not having been here before and with some time to kill in Norfolk, you might well accidentally find yourself in what's now known to be described as the prettiest village in the Broads.

It's also now known that trying to park near the river is pointless[1] so head straight up to the Village Hall where hopefully there's nothing on and you've time to 'de-mist' on the short stroll back.

[1] Some people really are quite rude, aren't they? It's hoped they're a bit more courteous on the waterways or there'll be another  Battle of Trafalgar here.

It's easy on the eye to see why this place is so popular and the  Swan Inn demands a mooring up at their beer garden. Isn't that one of the benefits of holidaying in the Broads? Chugging in the sun, pub to pub, cupping a Cabernet?

There are no over-the-limit laws regarding drink driving or inebriated navigating if you'd rather. That's not to say you won't be in trouble if you have a prang when plastered, the NYPD[1] will still likely be called since criminal damage and drunk and disorderly still apply, thankfully.

Although you won't be asked to blow, you'll still have to watch your blood levels, pressure that is[2], trying to get parked near that river.

[1] Norfolk and Yarmouth Police Department.
[2] Yes, it can be seen that you're indicating but they're not coming out just yet and I'm not going to try and nick it.

Next door to the Swan Inn, the  Staithe 'N' Willow café-come-tea-room-come-restaurant has been designed by theme park committee and the whitewashed thatches couldn't be any more English-looking.

All they need is a London Bus to drop you off and pick you up and a Winston Churchill lookalike serving the sandwiches. Plenty of room outdoors but they were a bit backed up inside, which is nothing new for today.

I'm honestly not going to nick your spot! There's half-a-dozen behind now so if you could just let people past?

Down at the River Bure, the locals will probably throw you in if you say it like that[1]. It's pronounced Burr as in 'Burr, this water's freezing. Why have you just thrown me in?'

Speaking earlier of blowing off some steam, the  Southern Comfort Mississippi Paddle Boat is one of Horning's main attractions.

She'll cruise at a leisurely 5MPH to Ranworth Broad and back and was the only thing of interest seen later at a  nature reserve. If you do decide to dare to board, and looking at today's queue, it looks like you'll bring down the average age of a passenger significantly.

Unsurprisingly, Horning's a hub for sailing although you'll need a key or a pair of bolt cutters to cross to the island occupied by the Horning Sailing Club.

[1] As in rhymes with pure.

  BeWILDerwood (Horning Road, Hoveton)

If you prefer your adventures to be land-based, this kiddies 'adventure' park is just a mile or so west of here with treehouses, rope bridges and monsters in the swamp. The eco-friendly woodland setting is prize-winning and it's all been done rather imaginatively.

Back inland, Lower Street provides more of the picture postcard. Along and around here, there's reckoned to be 15 listed buildings with some of the shops actually selling stuff that might be of some use.

This pretty much runs out into the residential after the  Galley Deli where some fine work has been done on the savoury adoption front.

Not today, thanks very much, much prefer 'horned beef', which is what that joker in the car park very nearly got... BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEP!